In the last few months, I have been thinking more deeply about how to step into courage.
My natural preference is to be humble, collaborative, and supportive. I am very good at using my refined intuition to sense people’s needs and wants, adjusting my way of being and thinking.
This was my old self. It has served me well in many instances. I made a lot of friends, some of them very close ones. I get along with many people, of course, and they like that I am flexible and easygoing.
But it is not all good. I realized that I was often too accommodating, which resulted in focusing too much on making other people happy. There were often no boundaries, and some people definitely took advantage of this. With others, I did not get the respect I deserved. What was even worse, I could not even tell anymore what I wanted. It felt as if I had lost touch with my identity.
I started to be more assertive, share my views and opinions, and not care anymore if people liked it or not. Reflecting on my core values, I began to set clearer boundaries that I expressed openly. I initiated uncomfortable conversations, putting things out there so they would no longer occupy my heart and mind and grow into big problems.
To my surprise, I started not only to feel less guilty about standing up for myself, it even made me feel more grounded and free. To my even bigger revelation, I noticed how people around me started to treat me differently. They took me less for granted, respected my boundaries, and even welcomed them. This, in turn, made me feel even more empowered to be bold.
The biggest learning for me is that I can stay true to myself and be courageous at the same time. I can be a collaborative warrior, a humble go-getter, and a supportive individualist. It is about integrating polarities and getting away from dualistic thinking.
I am Erika, a Connection Tilt who is currently tilting strongly into Courage to become more balanced and agile in dealing with challenging situations.